AT THIS POINT...let's try again

stuck in a continual cycle of creative projects and feeling anxious because of it

…is this thing on? *taps fingers on keyboard*

It feels like society is constantly feeding us “try again” messaging and reminding us that every day is a new day to try again. But at the same time, the idea of trying and failing or trying again after failing is riddled with shame and the distant sound of Phaedra yelling “LOSER” in my ear.

With that being said the cycle continues, but this time I’m embracing it as a part of who I am when it comes to being creative. I’m looking at my ability to start new projects as a strength and my way of saying to myself that I can start over as many times as I need to find myself even if I do end up back at the start. So here I am, trying my best to ignore the sea of anxiety, fear, and shame and attempting to rebrand the girl who can’t seem to stick to anything as the girl who isn’t afraid to try.

✨ CONTENT FOR CONTEXT✨

This TikTok primes the conversation and will be referred to lightly in the body of the newsletter.

@ayandastoodDon't let the shame keep you from returning for much longer 🥹💛 i love you. i have a pod episode on this topic. #paradigmshiftwithayandastood #creativity #creativefear #shame

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✨ WHAT’S MY POINT OF VIEW? ✨

POINT #1: That idea isn’t yours until you make it so

I love the concept in the book Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert (yes miss Eat Pray Love herself) that ideas aren’t things that we own, but things that visit us. The book is 200+ pages but long story short she explains how ideas visit us by sending inspiration, signs, angel numbers, or whatever you need to make you think that something is for you. After that comes the fork in the road where you either choose to accept or reject this idea, but when you reject an idea spoiler alert: it doesn’t die with you. Instead, it’ll move on to someone else who is ready to bring it to life. That’s why a month after you had a genius idea at drinks with the girls, you see that idea come to life right on your IG feed and go “Didn’t I just think of that?”. Now everything isn’t for you…BUT my thought is you should listen to those recurring thoughts that you can’t seem to shake. Those are the ideas that are meant for you and those are the ideas where you’ll feel most at home—some may even say that’s where the magic is at!

POINT #2: It’s day one, so act like it

I have a terrible habit of measuring my present-day reality against who I want to be in the end. For example, I’m writing this and thinking what am I gonna do when I hit 1M subs??? While thinking forward has its pros, at the same time I’ve found thinking too far ahead to be limiting and sometimes paralyzing because I focus more on why I’m not there already rather than recognizing the steps that I’m taking in the right direction. This line of thinking makes it so easy for me to give up because well if I’m not the best at something, why do it? And I immediately fall into the shame spiral of yet another project ignored. So with that, I challenge myself (and you of course) to realize that it’s Day 1, embrace the starting line, and recognize the opportunity to make mistakes because you’ll never reach the finish line without it.

POINT #3: You gotta know yourself

While I am reframing my perspective to see the beauty in breaks + the cyclical nature of creativity or understand that I’m not meant to bring every idea to life, there are some more logistical measures I’m taking to increase the odds of my consistency because faith without hard work is…why I’m just now popping up in your inbox. Speaking from personal experience, I tend to set lofty goals that sound good at 2 AM when I’m in girlboss mode, but are completely unrealistic in reality as I struggle to squeeze in something as simple as walking on the treadmill for 30 minutes. I’m learning that realistic goals make the world go round, you’re not going to change your whole life overnight, and it’s the initial consistency that plants the seeds and allows your wildest dreams to come true in due time. That is why I’m setting a MUCH more attainable goal of one newsletter a month, which gives me enough time to craft beautiful pieces and gives y’all enough time to miss me.

✨ SO WHAT’S THE POINT? ✨

When I look back writing has always been a part of my life, both personally and professionally, and the launch of this newsletter is proof that creativity is circular and I will never have a shortage of it. So for my fellow creatives don’t take your slump as the end and don’t be afraid to try again…and again.

All month I begged my mom to find a copy of the newsletter I wrote in 4th grade called “Girl Tips” to include in this first issue as I think it sums up exactly what this means for me. As I passed this newsletter out to my fellow fourth graders (only the girls of course) I had none of the creative anxiety or perfectionism I have today, but instead felt like my voice needed to be shared with the world…or at least my class.

So to 8-year-old Ianthe, it is indeed cool to be a newsletter editor and I did get to use the computer! I am sharing my feelings, choosing awesome pictures, and trying my best to avoid spelling errors (word to Grammarly). It is fun and really hard work, but so are most of the things in life worth having.

This is me coming full circle and I welcome you to do the same.

from me to you,

Ianthe