As a society, we love to reserve moments of pause and presentness for the winter when things slow down and there isn’t much more to focus on outside of ourselves. Summer is the time to move fast, have fun, and make memories then winter is when we reset and get everything back on track. That is typically (and still is) the case for me, but this summer I challenged myself for 7 weeks to “lock in” with the below terms:
No Dating Apps (this one is still ongoing because…you already know)
No Alcohol
Consistent with Fitness
Now this wasn’t 75 hard…or even 75 soft because I feel like challenges that require you to change every aspect of your life are not only super aggressive but unsustainable for most people. The focus is more on the “challenge” and ticking off boxes each day vs. actual habit building—at least for me—so I wanted to instead set myself up for success with one passive restraint (not going on dating apps), one active restraint (not drinking alcohol), and one new positive habit (consistently working out). That way I’m not thinking about what I’m NOT having or what I MUST do every day, but it results in small changes that amount to a big difference in the end.
At the start, I was nervous, primarily because I didn’t think I could do it. Although some of these “rules” served more surface-level goals (A.K.A. my summer body), it was also a major test of whether I could keep a promise to myself. In the past, when attempting these sorts of feats I’ve folded quickly as I hate to live a life of restraint—after all, I only have one go at this time on Earth so why deny myself anything? So going in I thought about different parties, birthdays, and concerts and my first thought was “How will I be there without alcohol?” or when it came to dating in the summer I wondered to myself how I’d meet anyone without my handy dandy torture devic- I mean dating app. But this time I wanted to stick to it and come out the other side victorious and spoiler alert: I DID!
Now I know I missed posting for a month so maybe I was a bit TOO present, but I want to catch y’all up and share a few topline musings from my time of pouring into me:
✨ Thought #1: The Summer is More Fun When You Remember It
The same reason I always avoided trying this out in the summer ended up being the very reason I enjoyed it so much! I found myself going out and having as much fun as I would during any other summer and I had a greater appreciation because without the liq I saw things exactly as they were and showed up exactly as I am. I could more easily discern if the party was fun or if it was just me and my girls (9 times out of 10 it was the girls), I could dance the night away and then wake up the morning scot-free, and I even finally broke my dating dry spell with no alcohol included (which my findings from that deserve their own issue). NOW drinks with the girls…a wine night…a good day party? You’re going to see me with a little drink in my cup, but I’m proud that I proved to myself that I no longer have alcohol as a crutch when it comes to a good time.
✨ Thought #2: Inflation is Killing Mocktails
NOW I am very thankful that we have normalized the mocktail across NYC’s bars and restaurants because the girls deserve to participate in a toast spirit-free. I mean I even found a bottomless zero-proof brunch, but when I really think about that’s just free refills which…should be customary. But what I’m NOT thankful for are these prices because we have to touch grass and remember that we are talking about juice…with a mint leaf if I’m lucky. There’s no way the lemonade is $3 and the mocktail is $12….be so forreal.
with love,
someone who has spent far too much this summer on glorified juice
✨ Thought #3: My Gut is Speaking, So Listen Up
Now this one has a double meaning because this summer my gut has legit been telling me things about the food I’ve been eating and I’m starting to deep that I’m no longer a teenager who can eat whatever my heart desires—even if what it desires is a Popeyes 5 piece with rice and beans + fries. HOWEVER more importantly, I’ve been so in tune with my intuition and have had the confidence to follow it which was extremely empowering. I can always say that I’ve had gut feelings, but I can’t always say that I’ve felt sure enough to listen to them and put those feelings into action mainly because I was scared that I was wrong or scared of the consequences of being right. Presentness became a common theme throughout this time and for the first time (in a bit), I spent more time sitting in the reality of my present vs. thinking about what I lacked. Fingers crossed I can hold onto that habit as long as possible because it surely is a good one to keep.
I’m not gonna lie…I was ready to have my first sip of a spritz (and enjoyed it very much) because I’m just a girl, but I’m also a girl who not only says she can but KNOWS she can do anything she puts her mind to.
So with that being said shoutout to:
my lil resilient brain and spirit
my girls for not letting me fall off even when I may have wanted to just a wee bit
my counter app
And perhaps we’ll do this again sometime <3
from me to you,
Ianthe
Whew Chile! When I read No. 1… I feel like years of hard work has finally paid off. One of my life’s goals was to make sure you did not tie alcohol to a good time. You’d be surprised at the number of “debates” about whether there should be alcohol at a kids birthday party or little league game. Ahhhhh let me think… No! I enjoyed reading this one. I’m still figuring out holding my self accountable and being discipline with myself. I love your approach to it. If I’ve taught you one thing that YOLO but that should be come constraints I guess.